People
Lately I’ve been a bit . . . dismayed . . . with Americans. Not just about politics, but about people and the qualities they choose to display whether on-line or in public. It’s caused me to think a lot and to weigh if their actions (evidence about how things “really” are) call into question my beliefs. So check out this week’s musings and see whether I’m right or wrong.
My beliefs about how “people” generally are arise from two personal experiences from relatively early in my life. The first comes from having deaf parents and growing up with one foot in the deaf community and the other in the hearing world. I can’t tell you how many times as a kid I answered the question, “So what are deaf people like?” My stock response was, “They’re just like hearing people. Some are kind, some are grumpy, some are funny, some won’t give you the time of day, others will bend over backwards for you, and some are just plain assholes! You know, they’re people.” (Ok, one of those descriptions I didn’t start adding until I became a snarky teenager.) The notion really is that people are people wherever they are and each culture, race, country have people with the full range of personality types. Some people you’ll like, others you won’t, but it has nothing to do with them being . . . (insert your favorite prejudice).
The second comes from early in my college years. I heard a news story on the radio that added to the “people are people everywhere” notion I’d come to believe in. The story involved talking to a farmer, I can’t recall whether he was in El Salvador or Nicaragua, who was tired of the rebel-government conflict because of the interruptions in his life. “First one side comes and takes everything, then the other side moves in and takes everything, and back and forth. I can live with one - either one - but not both. All I want to do is to be able to feed my children and give them a better life than I’ve had.”
It was that last line that struck home and I’ve never forgotten.
This is where traveling to and living in other countries (some would argue other parts of the US as well) helps one understand truths. You are confronted with what is, as opposed to what others say about other peoples, other countries, other cultures, or even what you believe.
With regards to people, international travel has shown me that most people (unfortunately not all) are basically decent people, even though they may display the range of personality types mentioned above. Get away from stereotypes and political labels and once you get to know them, you find they’re kind and generous in ways that are often surprising, particularly when it seems that they materially have nothing to give. And what people generally want isn’t fame and riches, they just want to be able to live a decent life and give a better life to their families. And they don’t mind meeting new, different people - in fact, they’re interested in you (as I am in them).
Lately, America is coming face to face with its divisions, which have risen to the forefront - justifiably so in my opinion - in large part because they’ve been intentionally buried and ignored for so long. But as much as I believe in the need to address these issues, I’m dismayed at the anger and sheer hatred showed by so many (and by government reactions), as much as I’m in awe of the grace that people who have suffered can show towards those that have abused them in any given instance (Mr. Cooper’s refusal to cooperate with prosecutors in the recent Central Park dog-not-on-a-leash incident). I wish I had solutions for some of these divisions in American society, but I don’t. But there has been a disturbing rise in the animosity of social discourse over the past 30 years that is truly troubling. Unaddressed ills are coming to fruition, the consequences of not speaking openly and honestly about the wrongs of our society, and the imperfections that each of us have, the mistakes we continue to make. But again, I have no answers, other than a desire to try and be a better person.
What I can say is that I still have hope about people, as much as I am an introvert. And the people of Portugal are reminding me that I’m not wrong in my fundamental beliefs about people. From the few people we know, to those we don’t but run into in the normal course of life, we’re constantly being presented with understanding, helpful and considerate people every day here. People who greet us with a smile when we tell them we don’t speak their language, who show us respect, and who try to make us feel welcome. Here, I am the immigrant, yet I am greeted with kindness and welcomed. For that I am thankful because it helps me weather the incessant storm of disturbing news from the US.
That said, we do come across negative reminders that people are people everywhere . . .
And for those who may think I’m expressing some animus towards rural areas, rest assured, I’m not. This photograph was taken from the urban side of our town . . .
As our walks remind us, people are people everywhere. Enough said.